Napalm Riot

Well, it's been ages since I posted my last blog and quite a bit has happened since then.

I quit my job in North County
I moved back to Los Angeles (Korea Town)
I got a new job
I fixed my computer

*whew*

They've been playing the song called "Lollipop" (the Lil-wayne & Kanye West remix) on the radio here in San Diego pretty much constantly. It's like they just can't get enough of it. Well anyway, I was enduring it once again and screaming "YEAH BABY, LIKE A LOLLIPOP!!!" at the top of my lungs while driving back to work from my lunch break and wondering when they switched from singing about drugs, guns, killing people and rollin' with the homies to singing about fruit, candy and muffins. It was then when I heard the line that made me realise I'd missed the hidden meaning of Lollipop entirely:
'Cause I was leaving skid marks on everywhere I sit.

I still can't quite figure out the true meaning, but I've got it narrowed down to two different possibilities.
1) Whoever wrote it forgot to wipe their butt
2) Whoever wrote it has a secret fetish with scat porn

As soon as I got back to work, I set out to solve this mystery. A quick search on Google for the lyrics yielded this. Great, now I could make sure I wasn't taking the line out of context.
I flushed out the feeling of me being the shit
'Cause I was leaving skid marks on everywhere I sit

In case there is anyone that's confused, here's a couple images depicting the different contexts of skid marks.



With that being said, it was a sure bet that he just forgot toilet paper, but given the following the conclusion really could go either way.

Lil-wayne: potty disaster or "flushing out his feelings" from the bathroom scat-closet? I'll leave it to you to draw your own conclusion.




Here's a little excerpt from a conversation of me and a friend digging deep into the hidden meanings of this song.


ӝfluffy man that lollipop song is deep
ӝfluffy there's a hidden story in that song
ӝfluffy either he forgot to wipe his butt once or he's in to scat pr0n
ɤbaddognobiscuits AHAHAH
ɤbaddognobiscuits What????
ӝfluffy one of his lines is "i leave skid marks every where i sit"
ɤbaddognobiscuits ahahaha you're not serious
ӝfluffy I'm completely serious
ӝfluffy http://beckerist.com/lyri…est_-_Lollipop_remix.html
ӝfluffy it's that one that they play on the radio
ӝfluffy search for "skid marks"
ɤbaddognobiscuits ahahah ok
ӝfluffy "I flushed out the feeling of me being the shit"
ӝfluffy "'Cause I was leaving skid marks on everywhere I sit"
ӝfluffy maybe him & R Kelly should get together for some good times
ӝfluffy wasn't it R Kelly that liked to pee on chicks?
ɤbaddognobiscuits ahahahah yes
ɤbaddognobiscuits Lil Wayne looks like he'd hella be into scat though.
ӝfluffy maybe it was him singing. I don't think the original had those lines
ӝfluffy wouldn't surprise me greatly if neither of them remembered to wipe their butt tho, so that could actually be it. but like I said, there is hidden meaning in that song.

So last night Soroth and I are sitting down watching movies like we frequently do, when around midnight or so we both get pretty hungry and decide to raid my kitchen. Unfortunately, my kitchen is more or less bare of food, so there's not much to choose from. Soroth decides she'd like to defrost my frozen garlic bread and pan fry it so it's crispy, which doesn't surprise me. I decide that it would be a good idea to defrost one of my cheap frozen burritos and finish it off by pan frying it, which sounds gross but has me curious. She tells me that it sounds gross, but I convince her that it's going to be an interesting experiment so she goes along with it. I assure her that it's going to be great.

After throwing the slightly defrosted burrito into the pan, which is incredibly hot at this point, I decide that it'd be a good idea to throw some of my generic hot sauce on there. This hot sauce is of nearly medium spicy quality, but has a nice flavour. I dump a good amount on the burrito, and a little bit trickles over the side and starts jumping and gliding around in the pan. Soroth is very amused with this, and is pushing the drops around giddily with a fork. She wants me to put a little bit more into the pan so she can play with it. I feel inclined to let her be amused and comply. About a minute goes by, and I flip the burrito over which sends the hot sauce all over the pan which pleases Soroth even more. Then I turn around and open the fridge, figuring it wouldn't hurt to sauté that burrito in hot sauce. It's then that I spot the other bottle of my special hot sauce. This is not your typical household sauce, and can make grown men run around a living room screaming and drooling with snot dripping out uncontrollably. It's called Venom for a reason.

So I pull out the Venom bottle and give Soroth a wink and grunt cutely. I feel confident that I'm on to something brilliant here, and I apply a generous amount of Venom to the burrito and pour a little bit around it on the pan, which again sends it gliding and hopping around. Soroth is still very engrossed in this phenomenon.

About thirty seconds passes, and I observe that the pan is producing some smoke. Actually, smoke is billowing out of it in an alarming way, so I lean over the oven and under the ventilation hood to turn on the fan. The smell immediately triggers a flashback of me at the age of thirteen, curled up in the corner of my room coughing and gagging wildly after testing what my can of pepper spray smelled like when sprayed. If you're wondering, it smells like burn.

Back to the present -- I am coughing. Violently. Soroth is coughing too. My eyes are burning and tears are pouring out. Soroth mentions that her eyes are also burning in between coughing and gagging. This doesn't feel fun any more. I am frantically trying to get the burrito and the garlic bread out of the frying pan, and Soroth is flailing around frantically trying to get the plate to me.

I turn around and notice that it's dangerously hazy in my apartment. We both run into the living room and I collapse on my knees and continue to cough. I'm confused and don't know what to do about this situation. Soroth is also confused. There is a long strand of snot flowing out of my nose from both nostrils, and thick phlegm is building up in my mouth. Soroth races into the bathroom for what I assume was the same situation. The smoke isn't going away, and I'm suddenly concerned that all of this smoke is going to set off the smoke detectors. I'm on my hands and knees in my living room using every bit of brain power I can muster in order to come up with a way to prevent the alarms from going off, when another childhood flashback appears in my head of the hand towel my mom kept near the smoke detectors when I was growing up for those times we didn't eat out, and for a split second I decide that is probably what I'll have to do. I finally notice that there is absolutely no ventilation in my apartment at this point, so I leap up and throw open the sliding glass door and the front door and take a second to gasp for fresh air before racing into the bathroom to take care of the snot situation.

After about thirty minutes or so, the smoke clears enough for me to venture out to the kitchen to fetch our food. I take it back to the bedroom and close the door to keep more smoke from coming in, and set the plate on the bed so we can enjoy the fruits of our labour. I make Soroth cut up the burrito into bite sized pieces, and I take a bite out of one of the garlic bread pieces which was my portion. It tastes good, so I finish it up in another bite and start snacking on the burrito. It tastes great, and has a good flavour to it. I mention this to Soroth, which excites her greatly. She takes a piece and eats it. Ten seconds go by. She collapses on the bed complaining that it's so spicy she can't breath or see. I have at this point finished the rest of the burrito, and feel fine. I verify a couple of times that she can't see anything at all, and she confirms. I am still hungry, so I verify one last time that she can't see. I take the last piece of garlic bread, which was supposed to be hers but figured she'd forget it was there after all this trauma.

The crunch gives me away almost immediately. Soroth is angry and accusing me of stealing her last piece of garlic bread that she was very much looking forward to. I deny doing this, but she can hear me chewing still. I tell her it's fine, because she can't see. This doesn't assuage her anger like I thought it would. She is yelling at me and flailing her arms around trying to hit me, which I easily avoid. I am pleased with myself. I have salvaged the night.

I'm testing the site again...

I was at Target last week with soroth picking up three things which turned into about 25 things which turned into just under $200 of crap, and I was on a roll. So after leaving there, armed with paper towels, a new mop, extra strength toilet paper that I felt would make a huge difference in my life, and some other assorted goods, I was determined to go to the game store and buy a new fighting game for my PS2; something like Soul Calibre but not Soul Calibre because I already have that.... something which would of course take me to the next level of pure ecstasy in life.

So we're in the game store, and I'm looking around for a game to buy which might even come close in some way to Soul Calibre. Nothing is catching my eye. Soroth is ready to go. She finds a game randomly and decides she can probably get me to also be ready to go without looking at every single game they have in the store if she sells me on her idea with this random game. I am at the verge of accepting this decision, and I'm nearly ready to go. I'm looking at all the game covers and there's nothing doing it for me. Soroth is still very ready to go. I feel desperate.

I resort to looking at the "wide" variety of games for the PS3. It doesn't take long. I'm not impressed, but suddenly it feels like it might be a good idea to buy a PS3. I walk up to the customer service station which is way smaller than my bathroom and ask a stupid question about hard drive capacity. Soroth is ready to go still. They tell me something about a new version coming out with a bigger hard drive. That is enticing. I will wait for the PS3 to come out with their more erotic version.

The other side of the store is filled with XBox games. I don't have an XBox, but I walk over there to start looking for fighting games. This is a problem. Soroth is on to me, as she mentions that I don't own an XBox. I also realize that I don't own an XBox, but I am still looking at the game covers. Soroth mentions again that I don't own an XBox, and this is starting to concern me.

My eyes suddenly spotted something which struck a chord and probably killed some brain cells. Dead or Alive 4. I remember this game vividly, and I also remember that Kasumi can do a jumping thing which involves essentially sitting on the shoulders of the opponent followed by a quick and sexy flippy move which amuses me greatly. This is bad, because I remember I don't own an XBox.

At this point, I'm selling Soroth on the concept of me purchasing this game. She's confused, because she's still pretty sure I don't have an XBox. She's still ready to go. She senses the creepy excitement in my voice, and again tries to remind me that she's pretty sure I don't own an XBox. I don't care at this point, so I take the game up to the customer service half-bathroom and start asking some questions about XBox consoles. They ask me which one I'm interested in, and I get a dumb look on my face. I'm in a rush to get Soroth back to her comfort zone. This needs to be done fast. Soroth is standing in the far corner of the store. She's not looking at anything. I can tell she might almost be ready to go.

The last thing I remember is Soroth asking why I had such a big bag, followed by some vague memory of me hooking the XBox up to my TV, getting cut on the plastic crap they use to distribute extra wireless controllers which cost $50, and the frustration of trying to figure out how to hook up a second controller to the console.

I happen to like foreign things, primarily East Asian stuff. Anyway, as part of that I have a strange obsession with foreign character sets. Over this weekend, soroth and I were on youtube looking for some Korean language guides, and came across a bunch of _really_ _bad_ lesson videos. Ghetto acting and all.

Now, while those videos are nerdily-amusing, they are slow paced I was kind of in a rush to dive in. It's my preference to learn from someone who speaks the language natively, with English secondary, and not the other way around. So, after some work, I came across a series of 3 videos on youtube that honestly helped me learn Hangul in about 1.5 hours (30 minutes to understand, 60 minutes to memorize and play around).

So, for anyone interested:
Part 1: http://youtube.com/watch?v=Xq4S7M9rJbg
Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzrCnQGLEP8
Part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3r4eEo3wKM

Granted, I can't speak more than ten words of Korean, but the ability to read it is convenient in this case.