Horny Twenties Midget Porn: Erotic Game Systems
- March 6, 2008 - 2:18pm
I was at Target last week with soroth picking up three things which turned into about 25 things which turned into just under $200 of crap, and I was on a roll. So after leaving there, armed with paper towels, a new mop, extra strength toilet paper that I felt would make a huge difference in my life, and some other assorted goods, I was determined to go to the game store and buy a new fighting game for my PS2; something like Soul Calibre but not Soul Calibre because I already have that.... something which would of course take me to the next level of pure ecstasy in life.
So we're in the game store, and I'm looking around for a game to buy which might even come close in some way to Soul Calibre. Nothing is catching my eye. Soroth is ready to go. She finds a game randomly and decides she can probably get me to also be ready to go without looking at every single game they have in the store if she sells me on her idea with this random game. I am at the verge of accepting this decision, and I'm nearly ready to go. I'm looking at all the game covers and there's nothing doing it for me. Soroth is still very ready to go. I feel desperate.
I resort to looking at the "wide" variety of games for the PS3. It doesn't take long. I'm not impressed, but suddenly it feels like it might be a good idea to buy a PS3. I walk up to the customer service station which is way smaller than my bathroom and ask a stupid question about hard drive capacity. Soroth is ready to go still. They tell me something about a new version coming out with a bigger hard drive. That is enticing. I will wait for the PS3 to come out with their more erotic version.
The other side of the store is filled with XBox games. I don't have an XBox, but I walk over there to start looking for fighting games. This is a problem. Soroth is on to me, as she mentions that I don't own an XBox. I also realize that I don't own an XBox, but I am still looking at the game covers. Soroth mentions again that I don't own an XBox, and this is starting to concern me.
My eyes suddenly spotted something which struck a chord and probably killed some brain cells. Dead or Alive 4. I remember this game vividly, and I also remember that Kasumi can do a jumping thing which involves essentially sitting on the shoulders of the opponent followed by a quick and sexy flippy move which amuses me greatly. This is bad, because I remember I don't own an XBox.
At this point, I'm selling Soroth on the concept of me purchasing this game. She's confused, because she's still pretty sure I don't have an XBox. She's still ready to go. She senses the creepy excitement in my voice, and again tries to remind me that she's pretty sure I don't own an XBox. I don't care at this point, so I take the game up to the customer service half-bathroom and start asking some questions about XBox consoles. They ask me which one I'm interested in, and I get a dumb look on my face. I'm in a rush to get Soroth back to her comfort zone. This needs to be done fast. Soroth is standing in the far corner of the store. She's not looking at anything. I can tell she might almost be ready to go.
The last thing I remember is Soroth asking why I had such a big bag, followed by some vague memory of me hooking the XBox up to my TV, getting cut on the plastic crap they use to distribute extra wireless controllers which cost $50, and the frustration of trying to figure out how to hook up a second controller to the console.
Comments
ʊchalkley3
I go where I please, and I please where I go
Prince Phillp to a Nigerian diplomat in traditional Nigerian garb: "You look as if you’re ready for bed."
ӝfluffy
エリート
bits.c:482: error: 'long long long' is too long for GCC
ʊchalkley3
I go where I please, and I please where I go
Seriously, sometimes I just browse the apple store seeing how expensive I can make a Mac Pro or an Xserve, or adding products for the mac I don't own into my cart for no apparent reason.
Prince Phillp to a Nigerian diplomat in traditional Nigerian garb: "You look as if you’re ready for bed."
ӝTheHalcyon
Pirate Cap'n, Reckless Thinker, Riot Mother
Haly
ɤSkyrail
Team Kills For A Living
Make love, and war.
ӝTheHalcyon
Pirate Cap'n, Reckless Thinker, Riot Mother
Haly
ɤdjh2048
Hot Girl In A Robo Suit
- Dan.H
ɤKiyoshi
Final Fantasy Fangirl
"At the end, everything you thought mattered burns
away and all that’s left is love and ashes." --Doug, http://hourofarrival.net
ӝNirach
Worrying is about as effective as chewing gum to solve algebra
I take it that means you have a 360, and thus, Xbox Live?
Keep your eyes peeled for the average gamers.
Nothing's broken, it's just functioning differently.
ӝfluffy
エリート
bits.c:482: error: 'long long long' is too long for GCC
ӝNirach
Worrying is about as effective as chewing gum to solve algebra
Let me know when you get on, I can demonstrate that I really don't play many multi-player games, and when I do, I do it badly :B
Keep your eyes peeled for the average gamers.
Nothing's broken, it's just functioning differently.
ӝfluffy
エリート
bits.c:482: error: 'long long long' is too long for GCC
ӝNirach
Worrying is about as effective as chewing gum to solve algebra
Keep your eyes peeled for the average gamers.
Nothing's broken, it's just functioning differently.
ӝfluffy
エリート
Also, both SC & DoA seem to have special button sequences that pan out to "make your character giggle/laugh/taunt and become completely vulnerable so you're sure to get your ass kicked."
bits.c:482: error: 'long long long' is too long for GCC
ӝNirach
Worrying is about as effective as chewing gum to solve algebra
I've never managed to find the taunt buttons, either. Perhaps my mashing skills are not as good as they should be.
Keep your eyes peeled for the average gamers.
Nothing's broken, it's just functioning differently.
ɤkyle
All Your Base Are Belong To Me
ѻpwnies
Played Final Fantasy Games Before FF7
I secretly hope you get a red ring of death for your lies!
ɤpleuston
Won The Internet
I'm kind of a big deal.
ӝTheHalcyon
Pirate Cap'n, Reckless Thinker, Riot Mother
Haly
ɤphotofroggy
Remembers What Arcades Are
Reminds me of when I randomly decided to buy a "Crystal" Xbox, the first one. I have no idea why I did it but god damnit it was fun to play on.
ʊsoroth
Fan Fiction Writer
and why are you holding out on the people, fluffy? give them all the sultry details of our foray into midget porn after playing the game.
ɤcrazycycoclown
Artist
that has to be the best quote ever
BUCK FUTTER!
Those who do not game only wish they can!
ɤdm9rei
Gamer Chick
ѻmick-mick
All Your Base Are Belong To Me
I was looking for some Bridget the Midget and I get an X-Box?
I'm with Soroth. I'm gone.
I'm a gamer, He's a gamer, She's a gamer, We some gamers,
Wouldn't you like to be a gamer too?
ѻmick-mick
All Your Base Are Belong To Me
I was looking for some Bridget the Midget and I get an X-Box?
I'm with Soroth. I'm gone.
I'm a gamer, He's a gamer, She's a gamer, We some gamers,
Wouldn't you like to be a gamer too?
ɤmonchee
Retro Gamer
ɤthemidgethotel
Played System Shock 2 With The Lights Off
MISCONCEPTION: Jesus loves you. FACT: Jesus loves cool people who buy him presents, not you.